One of the hardest duties I have as rabbi is reading the Yizkor list. This list of names includes every person connected to Shir Shalom who passed in the previous year. For me it is a sad reminder of how many friends, community members, people who have influenced and strengthened my life, I’ve lost in the last twelve months.
While After Life is a popular topic, After Death, as in how we grieve after someone has left this world, not so much. Judaism has spent a great deal of time and energy creating structures that make grieving easier. Reading Yahrzeit lists is just one of numerous rituals instituted in regular communal life. These include, memorial plaques, unveiling services, Yizkor candles, that are designed to help us mark out losses.
This week’s Torah portion, Acharei Mot, literally means “After the Death.” Embedded in the portion is Aaron’s struggle to come to terms with the loss of his sons, Nadav and Abuhu. Taking time off is not an option, and he mourns without words or actions. We feel his pain, in order to lesson our own. Looking at his struggle I am reminded of a saying I first heard in the television show Transparent: “Grief is like the ocean. You don’t want to turn away or it will swallow you.” As hard as reading a Yizkor list is, I know how important a duty it is. May the memory of all those we have lost be for a blessing.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Alex