Before the Grace After Meals, or as it is known in Hebrew the Birchat HaMazon, the leader announces to the group, “bi-rshoot chavari,” or “with the permission of my friends.” To which, the group responds by nodding their heads in agreement and continuing together with the prayer. A similar custom occurs during the Call to Worship, where the leader begins with the “Barchu,” and then pauses to hear the community respond with appropriate secondary blessing. Judaism dictates that a leader should not be presumptuous, but should only continue with a slight hesitation before any significant activity.
This week’s Torah portion, Ki Tetzei, is about an activity that rightly requires a great deal of hesitation –war. And, the war in question is not just any war, but, as our central rabbinic commentator Rashi points out, it is a war of “ha-rshoot,” a war acted out with definite “rshoot,” or permission. It is as if the leadership of the people is being forced to announce, “bi-rshoot chavarai,” before proceeding militarily.
These types of consent clauses are built into almost every activity. Indeed, the very act of saying a blessing is in some ways a permission slip. One of my favorite examples is a line Cantor Frank will offer before the Kol Nidrei: “by the authority of all who congregate above and all who congregate on earth, and with permission of the omnipresent One, and by consent of the assembly, we accept into our midst whoever seeks to pray.”
Let us not presume, let us go the extra mile, to ensure all of our activities are consensual and collegial. By taking the time to ask “bi-rshoot,” we remind one another that no one is above anyone else, and, no matter how hard or how awkward it is, asking permission is not merely a formality, it is the right thing to do.
B’Shalom,
Rabbi Alex
Last Updated on 11/03/2019 by Marc Slonim