There are forty-four candles in a box of Hanukkah candles, enough for every night of the holiday. Every is candle vital to performing the mitzvah of our festival of lights. As instructed by Rabbi Hillel, we start with just one, adding an additional candle on each night of the holiday, until by the final night there are eight candles, nine including the helper candle or Shamash.
That last night is full and beautiful as the lights of all the candles combine to form a blessed and holy flame. But, what about that first night, when that one candle must stand on its own? I always feel a little bad for it there, standing all by its lonesome.
In this week’s Torah portion Vayishlach, we see how it feels to be so alone in the world. Jacob, our patriarch, in his preparation for a fraught reunion with Esau sends off the rest of his family out in front of him, leaving him by himself by the Ford of Jabbock. He spends the night there on the edge of the river petrified of what is coming next. You might remember that after stealing his twin brother’s birthright and blessing, he left town a few portions back as persona non grata. Now, years later, the time has come to pay the piper. Will Esau greet him with open arms or a closed fist?
That night, he encounters a celestial being who wrestles with our forebearer, afterward granting him a new name, Yisrael, meaning a person who struggles with God. Refreshed by this incident, Jacob, now Yisrael, finds the strength to meet his brother, who, to his surprise, embraces him with a hug and a kiss. It turns out everything he had feared did not come to pass, and the families are able to reunite in joy.
A week from Sunday, on the evening of December 14th. Once again, we will need to light that first, and perhaps bravest candle. We all need to face things alone on occasion. Like Jacob we need strength and courage to fulfill our duty. And if we are lucky, we will be joined by others, and still others, until the world shines with all our light. That is the essence of Hanukkah, a reminder not only of how much we need one another, about the power each of us contains individually as well.
This year, as you prepare your box of forty-four candles, I encourage you to be particular when you assign that first candle. Offer it a blessing, understanding its fears and pain, and appreciate what it means to be the first of many. And, while that first candle will not be a witness to any of the subsequent days of the holiday, without it fulfilling its individual mitzvah, none of the other candles would be possible. Blessings to our forefather Jacob, and to all those who help pave the way to making us who we are today.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Alex