There was a moment during Yom Kippur that was truly magical. It was during the Yizkor service, when I was reading the list of names of people who died in the past year. There was a large glass bowl sitting on a table in front. We had asked congregants to place a stone into the bowl when a person you were connected to was called. This was a new ritual, and congregants were just getting used to what to do. Toward the end of the list, the bowl still only had a few stones inside of it. Then we got to the name of Paul Staley and the choir members looked at one another to decide what to do. Millie, Paul’s widow, was among them, and they wanted to support her. At that moment, they knew exactly what to do, walking down together, each of them putting a stone in the bowl in memory of Paul.
Yom Kippur is often thought of as one communal ritual, but in fact it is hundreds if not thousands of tinier ones. Looking out in our larger services, I see families and friends sitting together. That is itself a ritual tradition. The Torah and Haftarah readers come up to the scrolls, the English readings, the volunteers that help welcome, the specific songs people look forward to hearing, the rabbi’s words, are all separate, but connected parts of the larger communal ritual.
This is true not only of Yom Kippur, but of every Jewish holiday. Ritual gives us an opportunity to celebrate and to mourn, to process and to prepare both for what is behind us and what is ahead. The Feast of Booths, Sukkot, for example, was our ancestors’ way of steading themselves for the winter ahead. The booths we build, the waving of the lulav (palm) and etrog (citron) all are part of the process. You will know it is a ritual when you feel the power of it inside of your heart and mind. A ritual sings inside of us. At this time of holy ritual in the Jewish calendar, take time to think about the rituals you participate or create in your own lives. What moments like moving into a new home, leaving a job, or starting a new one, may require just a little extra. Like the new ritual we introduced on Yom Kippur, see if there is something you may want to try. If you need any help let me know. You can also check out – www.ritualwell.org for ideas.
Chag Sameach and Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Alex