Many times in my career as a rabbi, I have been asked about the right way to do a particular Jewish ritual. Whether it is lighting Shabbat candles on Shabbat, putting earth into a grave during a burial, or what week to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish on the anniversary of a death, a community member is seeking answers. They want to know definitively what the custom is. “It all depends,” I often answer. What I mean by this is that depends not on what I think or say, but on that person or family’s individual custom.
Because, for most things, there is no one right way. This was true at the time of the rabbis at the beginning of the first millennium, and it’s true today. When it comes to lighting a Hanukkah menorah, for example, some people start with the left, some with right, some sing one melody, some another, some have no melody at all. Individual customs vary depending on where the family came from, which synagogues they were part of, or who originally taught them the religious practice.
This week’s Torah portion, Tetzaveh, shows us the proper way to do different Temple rituals. But despite the rigor these rules were written down, there is a lot of leeway for individual interpretations. For example, in the beginning of the portion, the Torah states the light of the menorah should burn “from evening to morning” (Exodus 27:21). The rabbis ask, what about during the winter? Rashi suggests more oil was added to accommodate the extra hours of night. Not so, said Rabbi Isaac the Younger, a 13th Century French commentator. The priests would never have wasted holy oil. Instead, he suggests, the increases the size of the wicks to last longer. Who is right? Who knows? When it comes to ritual, we can all be right in our own way.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Alex