The fight between biblical twins Jacob and Esau began in utero. They tussled inside Rebecca’s womb, exactly as they would throughout their lives. More than a difference of personality or any specific grievance, the relationship between the two siblings was always destined to be fraught. But did it have to be? Several portions will have to pass before we even get a semblance of an answer. Their eventual reunion two weeks from now in Vayishlach, where they embrace and kiss, is both a big relief, and a sad reminder of all the years that had been lost in between.
Thanksgiving is a celebration of family. It is also a time to reflect on familial relationships. I always wanted a brother growing up. So much so that when my mother was pregnant with my younger sister, I was convinced she would be a boy. Now raising boys in my own house, I know how complicated sibling relationships can be. It is often difficult to distinguish between healthy tussling and angry fights. Our closest relationships can often be our most complicated.
My work with the organization Resetting the Table is not only about overcoming our political differences. The techniques of truly listening to one another are things we can utilize in our families as well. How do we get past the cycle of grievances we often get caught in? For Jacob and Esau, it took time and distance. Only by spending years far away from one another could they be successfully reunited. On this Thanksgiving weekend, let us find a way to heal even the deepest of wounds and be reminded just how essential our family bonds can be.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Alex