One of my fellow chaplaincy residents at Albert Einstein Medical Center in North Philadelphia, always used to quote Rabbi Edwin Friedman, the famous family therapist, as saying, “the more information you compile, the more anxiety you will have.” While I have never been able to track down the actual quote, the advice is spot on. While we may think researching more about a complex situation will be helpful, it usually only adds to the stress.
I thought of this as I read this week’s Torah portion Vayishlach, which begins with Jacob sending messengers to help scope out the emotional state of Jacob’s estranged brother Esau. Afraid that his brother is seeking revenge for the stolen birthright, Jacob tries to determine exactly how angry his twin brother is with him. But, instead of easing the tension, the messengers report only adds to it. In the end, Jacob had no reason to fear at all, as the portion culminates in the brother embracing one another.
This is true of many of the things that keep us up at night. As FDR said, at the height of the Great Depression during his first inaugural in 1933, “the only thing to fear is fear itself.” Jacob allows his fears to get the best of him. Luckily for him, and for us, what he imagines in the dark of the night never comes to fruition. We all are consumed by fears on occasion. Taking a deep breath, like our forefathers before us, we must face our worst nightmares, hoping for a positive resolution as well.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Alex