Soon after the Buffalo Bills amazing 44-34 win over the Seattle Seahawks this past Sunday, we learned that their quarterback Josh Allen had just had the best game of his career with a heavy heart – his 80-year-old grandmother, Patricia, had died suddenly a day before the game. Hearing this, Bills fans everywhere immediately sprang into action, donating in increments of $17, for Allen’s jersey number, to the tune of over $200,000 to Oishei Children’s Hospital. The whole thing felt so Jewish, with the exception of the fact that we would have donated an extra one dollar apiece to round it up to a full $18 for Chai, life.
How hard it must have been for Josh Allen to have quickly transitioned between mourning to the mundane act of playing football. Jewish tradition teaches us to pause after death to give space to our grief. And, yet, in this week’s Torah portion, Chayei Sarah, shortly after Abraham has found a proper place to bury Sarah, he quickly returns to the business at hand – finding a wife for Isaac. What happened to the normal thirty-day period of mourning others in the Torah receive?
Perhaps, we should be a little more forgiving of our forefather. Each of us has our own path toward healing. As in the case of our star Buffalo Bill quarterback, where playing the game he loves is a way of paying tribute to his grandmother, Abraham’s quest is ultimately a way to say goodbye to his beloved life partner. We see this at the conclusion of the portion, when the Torah poignantly tells us in Genesis 24: 67: “Isaac then brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he took Rebekah as his wife. Isaac loved her, and thus found comfort after his mother’s death.”
Saying goodbye to those we love is never easy. Donations in someone’s honor are completely appropriate, judging a person’s reaction not so much. We offer both Allen and Abraham the traditional words of consolation: “Hamakom Yinachem B’Toch Sha’ar Avalei Tzion V’Yerushayaim,” “May God Comfort Them Among the Mourners of Zion and Jerusalem” and may they go on their way in peace.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Alex
Last Updated on 01/14/2021 by Marc Slonim